HOW TO MANAGE A DIFFICULT BOSS

August 30th, 2014 || Business

It is always stressful when you find yourself under a very difficult boss who will not give you the breathing space to operate fully at your maximum capacity, whilst at work and out of work. When I say “out of work” I mean, he wants to control the very detail of your life.

A few years back I was under two ruthless bosses, one Ghanaian who was my immediate boss (my own country man) and an Indian expatriate who was the overall boss. I have never seen or witnessed an outburst of emotions and fury that the two meted out against their subordinates (me included) anywhere in my existence on the planet earth. When you work for them, you’re seen  as a non-entity, a property to be disposed off when it loses its value (a modern slavery), someone with no brains, and no rights. Just because our laws are relaxed and they plunder the locals by not paying them their due, with the connivance of some corrupt locals. The Indian boss treats my fellow countrymen like dirt.Whilst there, I always asked myself “how can we be in our own  country and allow these foreigners to treat us like that. Is it because there are not enough jobs in the economy and so if one leaves the job they will quickly get someone to replace him at a lower salary rate?” The verbal abuse and shouting at top of their voice to intimidate their subordinate was nothing to write home about. You report them and they do nothing about it.They always want to see you sad.This  is how evil bosses operate.You should recognize these signs as quickly as possible,so you can be careful with them.

After two years of my sojourn with them this is what I had:

EMOTIONALLY DRAIN

I was in my lowest emotional ebb while I was there. I had no confidence in myself. I lost all hope because I was constantly told that My leaving that company will spell a doom for my young and promising career. In my last months of being there, I was so much heckled and harangued that I could not sleep over six months. I was under constant threat of losing my job. I walked like a broken man; indeed I was a broken man.I’m writing all these to you so that you will recognize bad bosses when you see one ,so you won’t waste too much time under them for your life to be miserable. One sad truth about this whole issue was that after many years of leaving there, there are people who still believe in his lies and  are still serving him. A few days ago I heard the company is in near collapse. Many good professionals have left because they couldn’t bare the Indian boss’s dispositions any more. You should never make such a mistake, the fact that you work for some one doesn’t make you a slave.

LOWER SELF-ESTEEM

I have said it countless of time on this platform that ,the greatest assets you will need in succeeding in this life is your good self-worth or high self-esteem. You get wrong with that, and you are done with life! Colonization took place all over Africa not because the Europeans were wiser, stronger, technologically astute, more daring or took more risk than us? No, even before Europeans landed in the Americas, the black Africans were already having some connections with the Cherokees, the Incans etc. What were they doing there? We were told Africans couldn’t build ships which was sea worthy. But research has shown that the Incans, The Cherokees etc. were trading with our fore fathers before Europe was in inhabited by white people. Even the replica of Africa’s pyramids and  huge ancient monuments in the Americas testifies that they shared common interest and had some connections. How come that Africans lost this zest of intelligence ? One thing will be blamed for it, and that is self-esteem. They lost it along the way, they couldn’t believe in themselves anymore, and  a common European men with no glory, nothing, and who even came in rags, took the whole continent into ransom and divided it among themselves, just because they believed they could do anything. They made us believed that we were lower beings and that we came from apes.WE let our guards down, and they ruin us. Observe this carefully, any time someone wants to destroy you, his first target is to attack your self-esteem. If he gets that, he is done with you. That is what my India boss did. He attacked my self-esteem, making me to disbelief myself, he couldn’t succeed entirely. He damaged me so highly that it took almost two years to ‘detoxify’ my mind from all what he said to me while I was there. I’m free now.It’s now a distant memory and lessons had been learnt. You too don’t need to make the same mistakes. Anytime a boss tries to temper with your self-esteem, you will have do something about it before it goes to the extreme.

 

But before we delve into this matter more seriously, there is one thing that you will have to understand and that is, make sure you’re not the problem. You have been employed to come and solve problems, not to create new ones and aggravate situations. If you are not doing what you’re suppose to do, and to improve situations and fulfill the reasons why you were employed, your boss will make your life very difficult. I will not see this as a form of persecution or hate .But all what he wants from you is to solve the problem that had been laid before you, and everybody will be happy.
But there are another forms of suffering under your boss which might be purely not your fault, and this is what I want us to discuss. Let us see the reasons why your boss behaves the way he does:

STYLE OF LEADERSHIP

Style of leadership is how an individual operates or behave in  leadership positions. When we say,” this guy is democratic or autocratic” then we are referring to his style of leadership. Some bosses have become bosses by a share luck either through family connections or political connections, so taking autocratic path,to them, will be appropriate. But mind you, not all autocratic leaders got their position as a result of connections or political affiliations.Some really went through all the necessary Channels before they got that mantle. Some are naturally autocratic, and others who resolves to get things right  are also influenced by this autocratic style. With autocratic, they do not care about those they are leading. Whether their subordinates are satisfied or not. They hurt them and molest them. They think you work for them, so they have to use you until you have no strength left. You have no say in the affairs of the firm. Their popular maxim is, “Here we don’t think, but you do as you’re told”. There is no freedom to think and to speak your mind. Bosses in such frame of mind thinks he owns you.Let me correct this notion that being Autocratic is not good.All the style of leadership are good in some sense.Using autocratic style all the time will let you be hated and then create problems for the company.Each style should be learnt and used appropriately when situations demand.

BEHAVIORAL PROBLEM

Some bosses have real behavior problems of which they can’t help themselves with but are brought  to the office.They just talk anyhow, they insult anyhow, they fight, give you unnecessary pressure, make fun of you all the time.

HE DOESN’T REALLY LIKE YOU

It is natural to love some people and not like some people. Observe this with me. Have you noticed that some time back, if not now, you met this guy and you instantly liked him. Some of these events are so unexplainable and that it baffles you? You can’t really pin point, but the person you saw seemed like your long lost friend or someone who did you some favors sometime back. So psychologically you liked him without knowing who he really was. In other words, you met this guy and you hated him to the core without you even knowing who he really was. He might look like someone who broke your heart some ten years ago or duped you some time back. Naturally some persons may remind you of some situations which may make you react badly against them .If you are in such a situation where this kind of tide is against you then I’m sorry for you. He won’t give you that chance for you to have your peace of mind to work. You know what to do, resign and look for a new job.

DISCRIMINATION

Your boss seemed  not to like your race, color, religion, gender or your creed. He always makes unsavory comments to that effect. He  always seemed to discriminate against you not because you have done something wrong but because he does that  for the reasons above. If you see such behavior report the case to the police or resign.

MACHIAVELLIAN STYLE PRINCIPLE

This principle describes ploys and deceptive ways by which professional attain positions in the corporate world. When people want to move to a higher hierarchy in the corporate world, all they do is to backbite and undercut all those who are likely to be favored. So if you happened to be on the wrong side of their books, then they will destroy you by saying all kinds of things to curry favor from the superiors or your boss. This makes the boss to hate you for no reasons.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS BOSS OF YOURS, IF YOU’RE DOING ALL THINGS RIGHT AND YET HE IS MAKING YOUR LIFE IMPOSSIBLE?

-INFORM THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES

There are situations where your boss goes to the extreme by molesting you, abusing you verbally and physically. You will have to report the case to the police or to the appropriate authorities, such as the labor union, for a drastic action to be taken. If they refuse to take action against your boss, quit and find yourself a new job.

-DON’T TAKE YOUR JOB HOME

Never take your work home. Your home is your resting place. Place where you want to spend your life with your family. Bringing in work to your home is not the right thing to do. It makes you deny your family of companionship. Bad bosses will always want you to take your job home. You don’t want to take your job home,do you? Try this. When you close from work leave everything behind including thinking about your work. Leave everything behind the moment you step out of the office. You bring those thoughts about your work back when you step in the office. This can reduce some of your office stress a bit.Let him know from the onset that you will not take your job home and you will not entertain calls after work.No matter how urgent the issue is,it should wait till you get to the office.

-ENDURE

There are situations where the firm you find yourself in, has loads of goodwill in your country, and you can learn so much by getting a lot of experiences that will set your career on the right path. Getting experiences nowadays is  very important. Your boss may be ruthless and might be creating so much problems for you but I’m sorry, you have to endure till you get the experience.Someone may ask,”endure what?”  I mean endure  your bosses ‘onslaught’ for some time until you get what you want.But in a situation where your problem with your boss is becoming worse by the day,then quit and find your self a new job where you can be comfortable to learn and get the experience you want.

-QUIT

When all fails, and your boss does not want to see you eye to eye. When the office is always charged with negative energy, you either ask for transfer or quit.

Well, if you’re waiting for your boss to die, be sacked or be transferred, then you will wait for a long time. Such bosses treat their superiors with kid’s gloves and then kick their subordinates hard with their boots. That is the India style of leadership. So they stay in such positions for a long time, so you better make your mind now before he ruins your life. Well I’m not against all Indians per say. To be honest with you, some are very cruel and do not care about you even if you die in the process of serving them as their bosses. Some too are very good. I have had nearly some two important events in my life with the Indians and had nearly changed my perception about them. I still believe the few expatriates around the world are really creating enmity for Indians all over the world. Just recently, I watched in the news where most of the Indian students are complaining in Australia of discrimination.I believe only few ruthless Indians caused it, and innocent Indians are rather suffering for it.

BY YOUR MAN
DON C.HARDER

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