How To Deal With Distructive Offenses

            Offenses can ruin your life,if you don’t handle it with maturity.


No matter what, and so long as you live with people, you will either offend someone or they will offend you.When men live together in one place, so many hurts, bickering and backstabbing take place.When one lives in an isolated place he doesn’t offend anyone,he needs people in other to offend. But even being  isolated does not exempt you from hurting someone.But so long as you live with people, you must brace yourself with more offenses from yourself against someone or some against you. Some offends can be intentional  and some may be non-intentional.But come what may it’s an offence, and therefore one must find a way to deal with it, decisively, before it causes more divisions within your ranks or takes away your peace. The most difficult aspect of dealing with offenses are when those who are close to you intentionally or unintentionally offends you. Such offenses pierces the heart, the soul and the mind of the victim, which may present a lot of difficulty in dealing with these offenses. A lot of couples and well-meaning individuals have taken these issues for granted, and had ruined their marriages and other important relationships. So let us get down to how to deal with offenses when it comes to loved ones and others.


Create room for people’s  imperfections


Couples should understand that their partners they trust so much are not infallible and that they can do the unimaginable.In fact, many couples get a lot of surprises about a particular attitude from their partners they never envisaged, and wonders whether they indeed knew each other so well before they got married. For every day, new surprises comes up. You are dealing with someone who cannot satisfy you in all aspect of your life, even your best is not enough, why then then should you judge others? In other to deal with offenses, so you won’t be bitter, you must consider the offender imperfect in all things, and capable of hurting. Even the most perfect couple still hurts each other by their little, little offenses every day in their marriage.

Make room for people’s weaknesses


We all have various degrees of flaws that haunts us everywhere we go. Some can be bad temper, insulting attitude, racism-(some can’t stand the sight of other races and so forth). As we work on our weaknesses, we must create a room for relapse. So when you see anyone hurting you on the basis of his weaknesses, you got to be accommodating and help prevent any escalation of the result of his weaknesses into a full blown ‘inferno.’


Walk in love


It said in the good book that love covers multitudes of sins, and so by trying to love your spouse or people around you will help you deal with offenses. Love is an attitude and not just a mere emotional responses. Love is an intentional attitude.


Try not to offend any one


Do everything possible not offend anyone, but make sure you protect yourself from being hurt by anyone. Be wise and don’t live like a fool, stay away from people who intentionally plan to hurt.


Try And Be At Peace With All Men


Make this your goal. In your office be at peace with your all coworkers, and in the religious settings be at peace to all who call on the name of the LORD. By striving to create peace with people, the effect of offenses on you,will greatly reduce.

Handle Offenses With Maturity


There was a man who was a bank manager in a particular bank in my country, when he is hurt by someone, and his subordinates get wind of it, they quickly go and lock him up. If they don’t, he will destroy everything on his way. The result of his immaturity will course him to start throwing arsenals and destroying the firm’s computers, furniture’s, fridges and so forth. After he is calm, he would start regretting it. It is very amusing as to how we handle offenses anyhow and eventually we allow it to ruin our cherished relationship afterwards. When you are hurt and your emotions runs to its peak and you are about to react violently, you must stay calm and allow more time to pass. You must think through those offenses with patient considerations and with a merciful heart. For the relationship sake, if you cannot handle those offenses, hand it over to a more matured person to handle those issues at hand; someone you trust and one who is capable handling such issues.


Learn to forgive and be forgiven


Just recently, I watched a documentary about cancer patients, and it was nerve wracking. It was said that 60 percent of all cancer patients have forgiveness issues. To forgive and be forgiven are hard work to do but it will save your life; pursue it. I have written a lot about forgiveness on this great platform. The fact of the matter is that you will offend people and people will offend you, unknowingly or knowingly, so long as you live with people. Cultivating the act of forgiving is one of the most important virtues you will ever learn. The act of forgiveness is refreshing. It calms you down, it makes you less anxious. After hurting someone, don’t allow your pride to override you, just go to the person whom you have wronged and ask for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness wouldn’t cost a thing but it will go a long way to further and strengthen your relationship with people. If you don’t know how to say, “Sorry” ,then you must learn it now because it will save you a lot of heart aches and can save your marriage.


Do Not Expect Too Much From People


The moment you understand this philosophy, my work is done. We have people who gives us the impression of doing great things and so we have high expectations of them but when we give them something to prove what they’ve got, they dash our hopes and not be able fulfill those  expectation we have of them. The watch word here is do not expect too much from people, lest they fail you.


Manage Offenses With Prayers


As a Christian, I have always gone to God for help in terms of dealing with hurts. Some hurts are so painful that it will take you many years to recover, even with therapy. But I believe turning to God and handing all your hurts over to him and trusting him for emotional healing will go a long way to solve this ISSUE. Just try it, it is very helpful.




Badly handled offenses have brought a lot rift between families. Caused some men to commit heinous crimes and some unpardonable sins.

Offenses can ruin your life, ‘big time’, if you do not handle it with care. Lot of nice marriages and good relationships have hit a rock and cannot find their bearing as to what solution fits for handling such issues,all because they could not handle their offenses well.


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