Research in the US has shown that (55%) of all black women, followed by U.S.-born Hispanics (49%), Asians (39%) and whites (34%) will never get married. The reasons,which I think are unreasonable, stem from cohabitation, education, racial marriages etc. I’m not really sure of Africa’s own, since the research data is not really available. What I want us to delve into now, is the pressing issues which really makes women undesirable to good men and various issues that prevent them from getting married, and how they can prevent this problem from happening again and again.
Some women in the past had had too many series of unsuccessful relationships, and that makes them psychologically unsuitable for any meaningful relationship. They see every guy as ‘the same’ in relation to the previous ones. They don’t see any good guy anywhere. They hurt and harangue those who will try to love them. They no longer believe in themselves any more. They trust no one. Some even go as far as hurting innocent guys that tries to show them some level of interest. A few years back, I dated a lady who had been hurt so many times,anytime I show her some love she doesn’t believe a guy like me could do that. There was once a time when she was not too well, and I did all I could to show her more love in so many ways, within the shortest possible time that she was sick. She called me one day and asked me, “Don, why do you love me so much? “I was dumfounded, she thought she was dreaming, and she could not believe that she deserved me, and that she deserved the best. She continuously hurt me because of her unbelief. For her current situation was too good to be true. She destroyed a wonderful relationship that would have been the best. If you are going through this, take note, it means you’re really not psychologically stable, and if you don’t do anything about it, you will be in the Psychiatric hospital for a long time. You will have to take this advice I’m offering you, now, very seriously. Try and visit a psychologist one of these days, to psyche you and to give you a new and a different perspective of life. Never date, until you’ve gotten over the hurt of your pasts relationships. At least four months reprieve will be fine, and that will give you more time to take some time off and to observe situations more rationally. If you don’t wait and you quickly jump into another one, you are likely to make and choose another stupid guy who will come and hurt you more than the previous ones. These stupid guys are nice and handy for a time, and are always available as compared to the great guys. Such guys are very callous and they’ve developed into a Narcissistic behavior, and so they don’t care about anybody’s feeling either he hurts you or not. And last of all, separate your current relationship from the by-product of problems of your previously relationship. Kill the matters before they create problems in your new found love.
-Unrealistic View Of Life
When you ask any young woman ,what kind of man does she wants to marry.She will tell you qualities like tall,hairy,handsome ,rich and a man owning the latest car,without they thinking whether the guy with this criteria is a thief,has no respect for women,dishonest,a batterer and a womanizer.So if a guy comes and he fell short of this criteria,he is automatically rejected though he is of good marriage material.Some women read too much love novels or watch too much romantic movies which tends to influence the way they run their love lives. Anytime their relationship do not go according what they have read or watched, then the whole world would come crushing down. It is very unfortunate that nobody tells them that those fantasy they’ve got from the movies or the literatures has got nothing to do with reality. Reality is reality. Every relationship is unique and different, and therefore it should be treated as such. Don’t try and copy actors of whom they themselves can’t get a head way in their relationships. I sometimes wonder why some ladies want to be, and act like their admirers, even when they’ve divorced their husbands for unnecessary reasons or their husbands had divorced them because of their infidelity. It is good to learn, but only learn the ones which are good,and to those that will give you freedom, and knowledge that will make your life better. The movies we watch, and the romantic novels we read are someone’s figment of imaginations, and those can not reflect reality. So trying to implement some of them will not always be helpful. Even if the story is a true story, the condition of which to implement those lessons may be far different.
-Poor Relational Attitude
For any individual to be successful in any field of interest, he must first love people, and not used them. One must be capable of relating and relating well if he is to go far in life. The woman who wants to really get married should respect her environment if she is sure to marry a good man. There are some women who cannot relate to any man even their own peers. How can they then marry someone they can’t relate? Women should know and understand that to cultivate a good relationship is an art and can be learnt.Some women are so rude and unforgiving that, if a guy hurt her either intentionally or intentionally all hell will break lose. She will treat him so badly that he will regret in knowing her. If you are like that, no good guy will ever come close to you. Try and develop your relational attitude toward people and love them. Show them genuine love. When you‘re in an extreme situation to react, try and get some self-control and be calm, some guys can be irritating sometimes. Be respectful to your man, let humility be your best friend, and be seasoned in your speech towards your love ones. Offer to help when a neighbor or your man is in need, in some way or the other. These are the things that improves relationships.
-Bad Behaviors And Habits
I once went to a restaurant to just eat and relax before I go home after a long day’s work. In fact I have not eaten that whole day. As I sat there, I saw and observed three beautiful young women smoking and quaffing hard liquors. I was embarrassed and asked myself, “Who nurtured these young women that they had took to drinking in such a massive and embarrassing scale? “No good man in his right mind will ever marry a lady who ‘bath’ with alcohol and smokes. Descent women don’t smoke or take in alcohol. They respect themselves and their environment. These are some of the reasons why some women find it very difficult to marry. May be you’re addicted to some of these behaviors and habits, you will have do something about it, and you must do it fast. You should understand that you’re not doing this for yourself to get married only, but for your overall health also.
Some women by nature are spenders. You will always see them shopping and buying things they really don’t need. All what they think of is the latest car, shoes, bags, new phones etc. They spend so much that they do not have a cent in their accounts. They are in debt everywhere. They spend all their salary before they are even paid. If you’re a woman and you behave like that, no good man will ever step on your door,only suckers will be your portion.You will have to start saving and then reduce your expenditure to the barest minimum level.
Immaturity is one of the biggest turn offs against women getting into successful relationships. The most amusing aspect of these kinds of women are that, they think they are matured. Let me show you if a woman is exhibiting an act of immaturity: She is always late at meetings, work,classes and even dates. You tell her to meet you 6pm and she comes 8pm, without any reasonable explanation, and this had gone on several times. You go to her house and the stench emanating from her room is really nothing to write home about. She is very dirty in every aspect of her life; from head to toe .She keeps brooding over the past. Insulting, and don’t respect anyone’s feelings. She could disgrace any man in public if her toes are stepped upon, unintentionally or intentionally, even her own boyfriend. Woman, you need to make a conscious effort to change now if you’re to make an important impression on a marriageable good men.
For any woman to get a man who is intelligent, humble, hardworking, visionary, and faithful, and takes personal development seriously, takes time. You need to reject so many guys for you to get what you want, and this may take years. The impatient starts, when the right guy is not forthcoming.There are situations when the woman will have abandoned her search and then accept anybody because the guy on her rader has some criteria that meets her in some half way. That is when the stupid guys becomes available and then the women make choices that will alter their lives forever by getting hurt. Impatient is the killer of most relationships today. Materialism is the order of the day. One time, I heard somewhere of a lady that if the guy she wants marry does not have a vehicle brands like the latest Mercedes Benz,Hama etc. She won’t marry him.Some women need to be patient, even if their guys have an old VW beetle, they should be content with him, and shouldn’t follow money.
-False Belief System
The belief that we have only one soul mate and when he comes, all your romantic and financial problems will be solved, is a pure fallacy. You have so many men out there who will fit exactly the way you deserve. I mean the way you deserve and nothing else. So if the guy comes and doesn’t fit that description, he is not accepted. And she will be there until she gets old and no guy will ever come close, and those who will come close are the “nice and handy” guys, but they will only come for banging and her money. Drop this fallacy, for there are billions of guys out there who will love you and cherish you, if you will exhibit the right characters. Continue searching and you will find what fits your taste.
Continuous break up of relationships can be very frustrating. Last time, a lady friend of mine was crying on my shoulders that she had dated her guy for 5 years and had spent all her eligible years dating him. As she cried, she said:” this is not the first time it had happened.” She is scared in going into another relationship. Bad and evil choices are the cause of all bad relationships. Whenever you go into any relationship, in order for you to reduce risk and to stop any haphazard breaks up, you will have to look before you lip. Take your time and check his background,his history and ask questions and never forget your gut feeling, they are the only way in which nature will talk to you.At least,it takes three months to check whether it makes sense to invest in the relationship or not.
An excessive weight gain is referred to as obesity. Obesity is a function of environmental (diet, exercise, lifestyle, etc.), hormonal, and inherited (genetic) factors in varying degrees. It is very disgraceful for anybody to eat and gain weight, so much that he can’t breath and walk properly. Obesity is not only a problem in the developed world but the developing world also. Massive wait gain is a clear indication that you’ve lost yourself control. Weight gain gives us an indication that you don’t value yourself and your wellbeing. You eat any how without giving any recourse to your health. You are so huge that no guy wants to get close, you get what I mean? I mean you!! Stop eating that junk food. Eat more fruits and vegetables .Drink more water. Exercise at least 5 hours a week. I exercise 6 hours every week and I’m very fit and fine. And last of all, think positive and surround yourself with gardens and vegetation,and positive people.Those of you ladies who claim you’re fasting so you can get good husbands, should think again because frequent fasting makes you thin and unattractive.And those who are thin because you’re intentionally not eating, should be careful.This intentional hunger can cause a lot of diseases.
Any time I write and labelled it as only for women, it doesn’t mean that the guys cannot take any cues out of it.It is equally important to the guys also. When a writer writes, there are two things he does: there are things he wants you to know but won’t include it in his writings,and in this case you will have to find out yourself, and things he wants you to know, so he writes them and explains them so you will understand. The ball is in your court now. Go out there and work on yourself, and be the best woman who will be sort after by the best men of our time.
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